I’m a few years and thousands of pages into a project—and am starting over.
I had an “all is lost moment.”
It hit around the time Steve published his first “From the Trenches” article.
I cried.
I sulked.
I said something shitty to my husband.
I thought my world was falling apart—that everything that could go wrong had, or did, or soon would.
I was wrong.
I’m alive.
I’m working.
I’m healthy.
Most important: My kids and husband are healthy and doing their amazing things.
What helped me hurdle the moment?
Steve #2.
In his “Resistance at the Ph.D. Level” article, Steve wrote about another version of himself, a 2.0 version who would tackle the the messy pieces Steve 1.0 created.
Steve #2 has certain advantages that Steve #1 doesn’t.
First, he starts with a clean slate.
It’s not his fault that this project is all bolloxed up.
He’s the surgeon.
He’s the Fix-it Man.
He’s the pro from Dover.
Steve #2 will come in, sew this mess up, and get it back on his feet.
I know this #2 person he spoke of, but it was reading his experience that helped get Callie #2’s ass back where her heart wanted to be.
Five days earlier I posted the piece “Every Battle Makes Me Stronger.”
Easier said than done.
I know the process Steve described.
I know the Kubler-Ross stages he shared in “Report from the Trenches, #1.”
But . . . The experience is easier identified on the other end, once you hit the acceptance stage.
I’m there now.
Callie #2 isn’t thinking about what she coulda, woulda, shoulda.
She’s looking toward the finish line.
She’s thankful that Steve and Shawn are sharing their experiences.
She knows it’s easy to forget that we all go through the stages of denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance, whether it is restarting or reviving a project, raising a child, or wrapping our heads around life period.
It’s hard.
Cue Jimmy Dugan:
It’s supposed to be hard. If it wasn’t hard, everyone would do it. The hard is what makes it great.