I have no tears left to cry nor emotions to feel.
Instead of the heart keeping beat, the pounding in the gut plays metronome, a solid BOOM, BOOM, BOOM walloping the soul.
It doesn’t hurt, but Pain has numbed me.
I want to cry.
I want to scream.
I want to be back in my childhood room having a terrible two’s temper tantrum. I want to throw every stuffed animal, and book, and everything else I can get my hands on against the wall.
But I can’t.
I’m an adult.
I have kids.
I have a husband.
I have work.
And I have a choice to make.
Do I let Anger and Sadness and Rage overcome me?
Or do I let them go?
Or is there an in between?
Do I pick a few battles and let others go?
What to do?
My kids and my husband are my life.
If I have to sacrifice my work, I will.
But can I? Can I really let that piece of me go?
Or can I figure it out?
Can I really “have it all?”
Maybe I just need to “lean in” more.
Should I push harder?
And even if I push against that thing I’m fighting, it it really an opponent or just an immovable boulder?
In the past two weeks, Steve and Shawn have shared their raw truth.
The above is mine.
It is what my mind experiences as I struggle in all areas of my life.
If you think that Resistance goes away when you reach a certain point in your career or your life, you’re mistaken.
The one thing I know for certain is that Resistance hunts all of us. He’s an equal-opportunity abuser.
Success is a magnet, not a shield when Resistance is lurking.
The other thing I know for certain is that the glorious feeling of slaying that bastard waits on the other side.
I don’t do Resistance.
I pound Resistance out of existence and then thank him for the workout.
And when he’s reincarnated (as he always is)? I pulverize him.
Every battle makes me stronger.